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    Wednesday, December 07, 2005

    ..:[ umi ]:..


    lencun.. isk... menggigil lagi aku pagi ni..

    pagi² ujan. turun nak gi keje td ujan renyai². sampai tgh jln ujan lebat. basoh le, sejuk gile.

    aku, itto ngan mira. isk.. payah betul la. dulu lone ranger aku basah pon xpe, ni da berdua ne pikirkan dia plok. sakit abih anak dara org kang payoh plok..

    ptg semalam gi marang jenguk umi. niat dihati nak gi shopping kat KT. 'abg angkat' housemate aku tu ye ye je bgtau gaji aku da konfem masuk. kepala lutut masuk air. manede masuk.. punah berkecai harapan aku.. adula.. so gi terus rumah mok nak gi tengok umi.

    umi da jadi lain. mate dia liar je. dia tgk je aku mcm xkenal. da lame tu baru dia tanye, 'dari mane?'. mcm ape yg berlaku kat sekeliling lambat register dlm otak dia, lambat sgt nak proses. kalu ckp ngan dia, dia dengar tp terkebil² xfaham. kadang dia mengaduh sakit, pastu aku tanye dia sakit kat mane, dia bleh tanye balik 'ha? ape? sakit?' kat aku.. dia da xingat. sedih tgk umi. badan da susut sgt. umi xleh mkn. minum air n mkn roti cicah air je, tekak dia bengkak, berdarah. dia melilau tgk org, pastu terlena. x sampai seminit dia tersentak bukak mate. tido dia terganggu. blakang umi plak da x kritikal sgt, tp still lagi berair tak henti. umi asik terbaring makin la menjadi², tempat kulit rosak dia xdpt nak kering elok. iskkkk.. sakitnye umi..

    aku pon xpasti, slama ni aku tak amik tahu sgt hal² spiritual ni. tak pernah tgk dgn mate kepala sendiri. ni da tgk pon aku x dpt nak pastikan betul² kes spirit ke mmg sakit badan umi sendiri. bile doktor kate xde penyakit, heran jugak. zita yg jaga umi ckp, tgh berubat cara kampung. bomoh tu kate umi kena buatan org. tp da lame, da 2 tahun. mmg dlm 2 tahun ni umi start sakit² sendi yg teruk. skang barang yg org tu hantar da mula
    reput balutannya, so umi pon akan turut reput. kalu biar bulih bawak mati.. nauzubillah..

    aku mmg xleh nak buat ape ar, mmg xreti langsung hal² cemni. bile tgkkan umi, sampai hati org tu buat mende² mcm ni.. seksa umi mcm ni..

    serah kat Tuhan je la.. Dia lebih tahu..

    bi plak serba x kena. keja pon xleh nak tumpu. isk...

    biar la umi sembuh.. amin..


    haVin'  thiS  FOoLish ThOt  at  9:32 AM

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      the girl in baju kurung
      This is the story of a girl. Who cried a river and drowned the whole world. And while she looked so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her.. when she smiles.. How many days in the year she woke up with hope. But she only found tears. And I can be so insincere. Making her promises never for real. As long as she stands there waiting. Wearing the holes in soles of her shoes. How many days disapear. You look in the mirror so how do you choose. And your clothes never wear as well the next day. And your hair never falls in quite the same way. You never seem to run out of things to say. How many lovers would stay. Just to put up with this shit day after day. How do we wind up this way. Watchin' the mouths for the words I would say. As long as we stand here waiting. Wearing the clothes of the soles I would chose. How do we get there today. If we're walkin' to far from the price of the shoes.. When she smiles.....

      ..: mY bUTt :..

    •    + sakitnye umi...
    •    + gigilan ku...
    •    + a small house at kampong limbong...
    •    + the engagement...
    •    + selamat ari raye...
    •    + 4th year...
    •    + 13 days to go...
    •    + Ramadhan da tiba...
    •    + the jumaat...
    •    + mourning day...